Americans are living longer, and couples put off starting their families until their late 20s, or longer. According to the Pew Research Center, one out of every eight Americans aged 40 to 60 is raising at least one child and caring for one or more parents at home. Seven to 10 million Americans don’t have the capacity or ability to bring their aging parents into their house and are forced to care for them from a long distance away.
This situation has become more and more common over the last decade, as people find themselves in the planned role of parenting, but also having the unexpected event of having their own parents to take care of. Carol Abaya, an investigative journalist and nationally syndicated columnist, aptly called this steadily increasing group The Sandwich Generation.
And this scenario is not going to go away. By 2030, the number of older adults will be approximately 71.5 million—which is twice as many as there were in the year 2000—and will be 20% of the U.S. population. Part of the reason for this is that in 2011, the first wave of Baby Boomers (those born between 1946 and 1964) will start to turn 65.
Let’s face it: it is an understatement to say it is stressful to find yourself in this situation, caught between spending the time you’d like to with your children as they develop while managing the care and dealing with a parent’s health problems. It is normal for a person to feel like they’re experiencing a whirlwind of emotions–it’s unlikely that people prepare to fall into this “sandwich.” It’s a lot for one person or a couple to deal with, and can easily take its toll on even the healthiest of relationships and the happiest of families.
Don’t be scared to ask for help, even if it is just a supportive friend to listen to you during the tough times. Ask other siblings to help in any way they can, and make sure to search out community resources, including legislation like the Family and Medical Leave Act. If certain requirements are met, this Act allows up to 12 weeks a year unpaid leave for family caregivers, which could help ease the stress of work on top of parenting and caring.
Make sure you plan financially, and consult a professional about long-term care insurance–don’t assume that regular health insurance or Medicare will cover declining health in aging adults.
Other suggestions are to consult your parent or parents’ doctor to make sure that you can actually handle what is necessary to care for them, and also to ask them for advice for long-term care.
And stay healthy, as many of the Sandwich Generation tend to overlook their own health when in charge of the care of so many others. But most of all, remember that you are not alone, and the support is out there to help you through.
For advice and consultation, please feel free to contact Karen Fazio at Right At Home, Irvine by calling (714) 730-2647 or via email at rahirvine@att.net.
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[...] you through the process. Realize that you’re not alone—there are many people in the “Sandwich Generation,” children of older adults who are dealing with care of their parents while also raising [...]